i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
