i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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