We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
