Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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