i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize