Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
