i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
