Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
