I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
