i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
