I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
