My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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