She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
