she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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