all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
