my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
