This girl is more easily done than said...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
