Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
