Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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