I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
