the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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