i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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