Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
