I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
