you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
