Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
