Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
