I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
