PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
