Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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