would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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