therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
