Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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