The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
