Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
