you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
