so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
