life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
