sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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