so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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