Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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