I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
