Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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