did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
