Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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