More tranny stories later!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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