problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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