After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize