You're my little dorito
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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