how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
