Sry I called you an 8
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
being pregnant is like rehab
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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