i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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