I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
