mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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