So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
