know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
