Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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