I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
