If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
