i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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