Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
