so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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