don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize