apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
