Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
