you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
