Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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